Run, While You Still Can!!

I think i hear 'stab me'.

2008-11-03T00:24:00.006+08:00

I usually don't care for people who can't speak good english. I can, you can't, we both live in a retarded country. It's all cool.

What I do care about, is when you speak bad english to ME.

I mean, can't you at least speak decent english?

how about chinese? I can do pretty decent chinese. what, not that either?

Just a little?

No?

Please kill yourself now.

And even then i've learned to tolerate. Being surrounded by the vocally-disabled has taught me to take it all and smile.

You'll all be my slaves one day anyway.

*cough*

But today, today language just got ripped to shreds.
It's like being shot with a shotgun then smacked in the face with a chainsaw.
And then teabagged a few times over.

I don't even know if I can call it language anymore. Couple that with the standard signs of retardation, and we have a winner.

Except replace 'winner' with 'complete retard'.

I was minding my own business, reading more articles on

http://www.howstuffworks.com/ (It's become my new hobby at work) when i turned over to see this uncle guy waving at me.

I had a bad feeling right away that things were about to turn retarded. Ugh.

Firo: "Good evening, can i help you?"
Uncle: "asdfkjrefcvr Cover asldkjhfd that?"
Firo: ....
Firo: "Excuse me?"
Uncle: "lyuopnwcgv Phone dasfg design?"

By now, i was very confused, and getting more irritated by the second. What the hell is this, Timbuktu?!

But i wasn't about to let one moron bring me down. I reasoned that since we were talking on opposite ends of a display case, he must want a skin for the phone that he's waving around.

I will learn later how wrong i was.

Firo: "So... you want a skin for your phone yes?"
Uncle: *nods* "dfgklfhre."
Firo: "Uh, right... mind if i take a look at that phone?"

The phone has one of those stupid protective transparent casings that make your phone bulkier. Remember this, it will be important.

Also, the damn thing was ridiculously hard to remove. I gave up after some time.

Firo: "Yeap, we can skin this. Hang on a sec, let me just--"

Something struck me. I don't know if it was me developing retard-sense, but i had to ask something first.

Firo: "Erm, sir, do you want to skin the casing or your phone?"
Uncle: "Har? No just give me this one now adfkghfgfd."
Firo: "...Excuse me? You... want that?"
Uncle: "Ya, just give me this casing and take out that one."
Firo: "Casing?"

Oh...
Oh no.
No no no.
The one time he says something i can understand, i realized just how much more retarded this creature is.

This is a skinning shop.
I work at a skinning shop.
We are both in a skinning shop.
These are skinned display phones you are pointing at.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

HOW THE HELL DOES THIS ->

LOOK ANYTHING LIKE A CASING YOU CAN JUST SLAP ONTO YOUR PHONE?

I think my brain died a little right there.

Firo: "Sir, these are not casings. We do skinning here. These are skins."
Uncle: "Har? Skin? What is skin?"

...Need... to reach for... knife...

Firo: "Skinning. basically, we take your phone and vacuum wrap it with these films that have designs printed on it."
Uncle: "Har? Ah, just do it. I want this design here."
Firo: "Okaay... on both sides?"
Uncle: "Ya."
Firo: "Riiiight. Hang on a sec."

I turn to get the receipt book when something struck me again.

I'm getting pretty good at this.

Firo: "Oh, sir, it will take about 2 hours to finish this."
Uncle: "2 hours!?"
Firo: "Yes, 2 hours."
Uncle: "Why so long? sdfkjhg gsdfljhg fldgjhsklfjh can't you just stick it on?"
Firo: "...Were you dropped at some point in your life?"
Uncle: "Har?"
Firo: "No, i'm afraid we have to take 2 hours."
Uncle: "asdkjhgfdaskjnbvcgfklhtriklo Can't do it in half an hour?"

Schyeah half an hour. If he shot himself, sure.

Firo: "Nope, that's impossible."
Uncle: "lsdjhfdsf rehgcxkljbdgf..."
Firo: "Sorry. Bye."

Look, this is a very simple equation.

Audible language + understanding of where the hell you are = Happy Firo.

If you are going to talk, don't talk to me like you ate grenades not long ago. If you are going to want something, the very LEAST you could do was to know/find out what it is. If you are going to piss me off, do both of us a favor and kill yourself beforehand.

Now go eat some grenades. I hear they taste like green tea.

Singaporeans...

2008-11-02T00:49:00.015+08:00

Really.
Stop asking me stupid questions and telling me stupid things.

Just, stop.

Im surprised this country isn't killing itself yet, considering the amount of stupidity around. I was working today at the Digiskin in Cathay, where Kaden (the senior trainer) and I were reading some very interesting random things on http://www.howstuffworks.com/.
Like ESP.
And Nostrodamus.
And how scientific proof shows that the human brain is fully operational, contrary to the '10% used' theory.

Damn, they needed some Singaporean test subjects.

Sometime around 4pm, this couple walked in complaining that the skins on their iphones are coming off.

Now, normally, this situation starts with them walking in and asking if we can fix this.
We would then immediately follow with a simple yes.
We're sorry, you're happy, everything is well.

...How i wished the guy was normal.

He literally storms into the shop and demand we explain ourselves.
I shall refer to this guy as 'Moron1' from now on.

Moron1: "Explain to me why the skins are coming off."

...A good day to you too.

Firo: "Excuse me?"
Moron1: "My iPhone. See?"

He proceeds to shove his iphone in my face, showing me how this area no larger than a quarter of my thumb is loose.

A quarter.
Of my thumb.
Urge to attack Moron1 rising.

Moron1: "Why did it come off? And my girlfriend one also. You people said it can last a year."
Girl: "And it's only been a month too."
Firo: "Can i take a look at that?"

At this point i actually turned to Kaden for help. I even had the whole 'Help me GTFO of this crap!' look to get the message through.

He sits there examining the girl's iPhone.
Damned bastard.

Firo: "Well, usually this shouldn't happen. It should last at least 6 months if done properly. Also, iPhones are also known to be harder to grip due the rounded corners. We could--"
Moron1: "Why didn't you tell us that when we came the last time?"

...Urge to attack Moron1 rising further.

Firo: "I have no idea. I wasn't the one who did these, and i wasn't around either."
Moron1: "So you're saying if you did it it would be better?"
Firo: "What? No, i meant there might have been some problems during the process of the skinning."
Moron1: "How am i suppose to trust your products now?"
Moron1: "These are lousy skins."

...Did, did he just insult us?
Oh that son of a bitch.
If Kaden hadn't said something, i would've had a little chat with Mr.Upset.

Will all the nice shiny knives on the table between us as friendly gifts.

Kaden: "We can help remake these for you again, and hopefully this time it will last longer."
Moron1: "...Oh really?"
Girl: "Great."
Kaden: "Just come back around... 6pm? Thanks."
Moron1: "Okay then."

......What?

What in the 18 fiery blazes of Hell just...

Oh that damned bastard.

---------Fast forward---------

After work i went over to Long John's for some dinner. By then i was very hungry.
And I don't just mean famish hungry. I mean give me food now or you'll pay hungry.

So i jumped into line, ready to order that 'Hot Deal' meal that conveniently fits into my budget so beautifully. It was like we were fated to be together, my stomach and it. Unfortunately, the counter staff had other ideas.

I shall refer to this guy as 'Moron2' from now on.

Now, there was but one other person in front of me.
One.
...Damn. Too many onlookers, murder too risky. Ah well. Technically, this one guy can't possibly take more than another minute. He was here before I walked in. This will be a short wait, right?

Right?

...Sigh. Singaporeans.

Moron2, who was serving my line (read: my set of two), was talking to the guy in front of me. Talking. For 5 minutes.

I started wondering how i could remove both of these retards without anyone seeing me.

Okay, calm down. Maybe the guy has a ridiculously large order. Maybe he's the kind of asshole customer who has so many special orders you could drown in his requests.
That much i could understand. If i weren't dying of hunger.

Moron2 finally decides to get down to getting the guy his order. I finally figure out how to shove his head up his ass.

Turning around, he picks up a plastic take-away box, and slowly puts some vegetables and sauce into it.

Let me highlight just how excruciating it was to watch him.

SLOWLY.

It was like watching the entire double trilogy of Star Wars without all the shiny stuff.
Can you just imagine that? Pure torture.

3 people had gotten by me on the queue next to me.
Firo is not happy.

After World War 3, he shuts the box, turns around, and puts it on the tray.

...And... that's it.

Guy pays and leaves.

...DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE 50 YEARS FOR THAT!?
I need to shoot this idiot now...

No, wait, where is he going with those tiny cups of sauces? Is he not taking my orders? What the...

Oh that son of a bitch.

He even dared to smile when he came back.

I need a dragon. Fast. And preferably non-Singaporean.

GASP, it's Nov 1st!

2008-11-01T03:12:00.002+08:00

I promised i would start posting stuff here starting now!

...i think.

right?

...Singaporeans.
It's 3.20am in the damn morning. Get the hell out of my way, i need sleep. We'll see if anything interesting comes up after i get up and get my job over with (Read:at night).

Until 18 hours later then.

Ok, so, fixed.

2008-07-08T01:21:00.000+08:00

Darn. There goes my reason *coughexcusecough* for not blogging. Ah well. Thanks anyway for the help Wes, really, thanks.

Been months since i was last here, and now that i AM back, i feel absolutely...... no desire to write at the moment.

I could try and say SOMETHING, i guess. It'll eventually happen.

Speaking of which, has anyone ever heard of 'Interpreted Truths'? It's one of the secrets behind "Skills of Conversational Half-Evils and Manipulative Intelligence of No Good (SCHEMING)" that i have a name for. Simply put, it's how i can always say one thing, and still be able to mean another. Probably a level 2 skill on a 5 level tree, if you ask me.

It's 500 bucks per lesson.

Of course, normal people would only be able to grasp so much. Level 3 and beyond is restricted information for S grades and above. This is so you idiots won't spaz out and foam up my nice carpet from too much Wisdom of Evil. 5 times i had to clean it up already, ain't no way in glorious bunny hell im doing it again.

Firo, out.

New skin.

2007-11-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

A new blog skin. Wow. Many thanks to froggy for the free makeover =P. Though now that i have this, im thinking of having a header pic, background pic, and a mascot. What for? Plain and simple nothing.

A few problems though, one of which renders my post title redundent. Anyone can fix that? I'm offering a cookie for the help =D. Also, im missing the blogger toolbar that appears at the top already. Someone bring it back to me~

Ah well. Nothing much more to say right now. Thanks again froggy.

Firo, out.

Night Breeze...

2007-11-01T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. Tonight feels like one of those nights where the world seems likes it's come to a stop, and where i would love to have a vast plain of grassland to lay down on while i stare at the night sky. Of course, i don't, so that makes for a whole lot more melancholy than usual. For this post i push aside my usual sarcastic comments, which unfortunately is where most of the entertainment lies tied like fishes on a stick. Yes, This is a warning. If you don't want to read these thoughts then please, save yourself right now by pressing that x button.

Ever felt like you just want to stop? Like, just stand up, walk onto the stage, and yell "HOLD ON A SECOND" to the world? They never listen, never. Especially when you get tired of all the hustle and bustle, all the work, all the stuff that rolls up on the carpet like a big fat and grimy furball spat by that neighbourhood cat. At least, they don't while Mr.Sun's up (Wth? get outta my sky this instant!). This night, this slightly cold and peaceful night where according to the kokster 'not sleeping is a sin', i don't want to think about most of my worries.

Just, one night.

Even if its only half a day worth of peace, i'll grab it and take it in. treasure it, hide it in that corner even. I'm tired.... of acting like it's so. Like everydays just another day. Like all we were born to do is to wake up, eat, go to school and work, eat somemore, and finally sleep. This cycle feels like one of those poor buffalos tied to a contraption so they could only move in a circle for the rest of their lives. No wait, let me rephrase that. This feels so... rushed. Like sonic on steroids. Before i knew it, it's already coming to the end of the second week of sem 2.2. What? Since when did time go so fast? I've yet to do anything at all! Anything worthwhile at least. I hate how time just flies by you, without you noticing. close to 18 years of existence.... bloody hell. If i was in another country i would be yearning to unleash that stash of adult videos on the big screens (Damn you singapore...).

But then again, having each second hop across the fence while you're tied to that front seat chair isn't the best of situations either. Time's a bitch, y'know that? When you want it to go slower, it crash lands and just sits there like a bawling 5 year-old who wants her dolly. Or that shop uncle who just wouldn't let you go because you're missing ten cents.

Me: Look, I'm short on a single coin. Now if you would please let me -
Shop uncle: What you think ten cents not money izzit!? Ten ten cents become one dollar, hundred ten cents become ten dollar, and ten hundred ten cents become hundred dollar! Ten cents now, or i smack until your backside no more!!

Nothing moves. Nothing gets done. Nothing happens. And when nothing happens, my mind starts to wander. usually starts with something related with the current, then slowly, very slowly, it runs off all the way to the other side of the world. Of family, friends, relationships, the future, life and death. That's why i have deemed deep thought to be unhealthy for me. Notice that mp4 around my neck? Lifesaver. Simply godsend. It's like a sedative for my mind, or a chain for the crazy hound.

So sometimes, i just want to set all my problems aside, walk to that window, and relax. It's the only way to truly enjoy time's passing. Feel the night wind in your face, and if possible sip on that cool drink slowly. I appreciate times like this, when i'm alone and not thinking so much. Calms the soul.

Do i like being alone? No, not always. I'm not a sociable person by nature, but i do so enjoy the company of friends. That's when i have to put extra energy into being friendly, just so i can return the favor. I don't take you people for granted, especially not friends who can put his or her hand down to add bits of colour to an otherwise black & white life. Since I'm already on this topic, let me take this chance to say something you guys probably will never hear from me face to face.

Thank you.

All of you, past and present, for being here. It's an honor to have you all around for all these years.

I don't know what kind of insane homicidal fellow threatened you into this, but it's been a joyride. Thanks for tolerating all the bull i've been throwing at all of you. Thanks for laughing at my one-legged jokes. Thanks for HUNTING ME DOWN IN DOTA. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

simply put, Thanks, for everything. Even to you all that i no longer remember. I remember the friendship, and it'll stay with me for as long as i can help it. Cheers.

So there you have it. My thoughts for this night, as i finish off my last paragrah of the post. Will probably head for the window next, like i said i would. To those who read this, try doing the same past midnight, it's real soothing. And make sure to get a can of ice lemon tea. I love those, they taste the coolest, literally. Lemon + Ice = *ahhhh~*.

Firo, out.

p.s. do try to keep any comments to yourself, i wouldn't be able to respond to any queries of any kind >_<

Zannorak: The Eternal Lock - Interlude: A Meeting in the Dark

2007-10-27T17:09:00.000+08:00

The air, always fresh and soothing especially in the areas surrounded by woods, and even more so in the hours of dawn. The villagers started their usual routine, the men tended to their fields, the women made breakfast and the children ran as much as their little legs could hope to take, brimming with renewed vigour. Such carefree joys of the breathing.

One of the men noticed a shadow of a lanky human in the woods, a strange sight of cloth and curious accessories that hung from every part of his, it's, body. Rubbing his eyes the man looked again, and sure enough he was only seeing a mess of plants that looked like a human. Pushing that mental image aside, he once again focuses on his crops, worrying about the coming harvest.

Such mundane thoughts, so full of ignorance commonplace in peasants and beings of the like. Simple dreams and goals, of being able to live for another day with a filled belly, of having a roof over their heads, and of passing each day like any other. Untainted and innocent, and no doubt, fresh....

He turned calmly, various ceremonial trinklets ringing softly as they knocked into one another. Not an single forest creature in sight. Drawing a pattern in the air with his left index he starts making his way back, joints creaking softly occasionly as he maneuvers himself through the old forest, careful not to leave any tracks for the foolishly curious. A single, dark hand reaches out from a tree, wavering slightly as if waiting for a prey to meet its grasp. Reaching out the stranger gently held it, and in a flash he was gone.

Regaining his lazy stride he walks down the familiar corridor, curtains and veils unravelling to make way for his passage. When he finally reached his meeting room, he noticed the door ajar. Early, he thought. There sitting on the couch inside rests a young man surrounded by two others. Moving to the opposite seat he slowly sits down, as the visitor said in a soft charming voice,
"On your usual morning walks, Clruciofe?"

"Yes, to marvel at the village livestyle. Has it ever baffled you how little those villagers have to worry about? Intriguing." A deep, old voice echoed from within his body.

"I'll have to agree with you on that." He opens his eyes, a lazy but judging stare, "though is it not strange to speak so fondly of them when you have just completed your... research?" The scarred elf to his left watched Clruciofe with cold piercing eyes, his arms folded neatly behind his deceptively frail-looking body.

"Indeed. They say that one only learns to cherish something when one has lost it. This would be one of those times."

The man smiled, "Such a longing tone is unbecoming of you, necromancer."

"Everyone has a right to wish." He waves his hand matter-of-factly. "You have come for results, i presume? It's rare to see you in the flesh."

"You read my mind."

"The most recent subject is functioning as expected. No flaws has been discovered as of now, but further trails will need to be run. We are, however, pleased with this one."

"Perfect. Are you going to have a 'grand feast' for your accomplishment? I'm sure you all deserve a little reward from time to time." The man's tone suggesting jest, as his other lieutenant giggles softly.

"Perhaps. Would you like an invitation? Though i doubt the food will fit your tastes."

The man rises from his seat, his long black hair falling on either side of his heavy cloak "No, I'm afraid I have better interests to attend to. I'll be looking forward to the release. That is, if you are planning to."

"Of course. I'm sure all of us need some humour on occasion." Clruciofe stands up slowly and drifts to the open portal by the wall, the clouds of colours swirling within masking a scene of a snow laden path to a large citygate flanked on both sides by towering ivory statues of a warrior and a wizard. Raising a boney hand he gestures towards the magical conjuration, "Till we meet again, Bringer of Worlds."

Zip List.

2007-10-21T22:52:00.000+08:00

Here, all the animes i'm currently downloading.

- Blue Drop
- Clannad
- Dragonaut -The Resonance-
- ef - a Tale of Memories
- Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun
- Gundam 00
- Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai
- Kaibutsu Oujo
- Kimikiss Pure Rouge
- Minami-ke
- Myself; Yourself
- Naruto Shippuuden
- Night Wizard
- Prism Ark
- Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
- Shakugan no Shana Second
- Shugo Chara
- Sketchbook ~full color'S~
- Sky Girls
- Suteki Tantei Labyrinth
- Tales of Symphonia OAV

It's really, really tiring and irritating to have to keep repeating this, so heres a damn blog entry dedicated just to put a zip to those mouths. D=<

Firo, out.

Quickly! Save the princess!!

2007-10-12T21:28:00.000+08:00

Hey guys. Been chillin at home for quite some time (read: Rotting my backbone off), and occasionally i go for some tabletop RPG game sessions. Oh yea, and i've also been playing HALO3 whenever i can. It's a pretty fn game especially when in a group, even though i will agree that it's over-hyped. So, since i noticed that this blog has become my personal ranting space and there's nothing major i can rant about today, I'll tell you bout a funny in-game incident that happened recently during one of the game sessions.

Just the day before i had a little BESM tryout with luke, johan and kenny in the school library. BESM stands for Big Eyes Small Mouth, and is an anime tabletop rpg game thats i've had floating around my comuter for ages. Thus, when kenny brought it up that he wanted to try running a campaign, we suggested BESM. But whoa, were we in for a treat.

We booked a project room (empty schedules all the way. cool stuff.) and started creating our characters on the spot while everyone else chilled for abit. Ok, fine, i created my character while they chilled, but thats beside the point. BESM, unlike D&D, worked on a very simple basis: the GM is the true system. It's basically just making his life easier by giving a list of stuff like powers and skills and a limit to how many/much of the stuff on that list we can take. everything else? GM. So the kenster gave us 40 points to work with, which is, by the way, ALOT of points, but being me, it was obviously a meager amount. Hours later, when i finished up my character complete with his attributes and skills (what? It was a bunch of hard decisions, ok?), we got started on an introductory trail run. The story goes like this:

We are a bunch of high ranking military personnels in a futuristic setting thrown together to form a group of ambassors of peace who were sent to well, make peace with the 2 other warring kingdoms to form an alliance against the DARK & EVIL EMPIRE (DEE). But, after we were given our respective promotions (yea, being sent to make peace does that) and were about to leave for our great journey, a whole platoon of DEE's soldiers popped into our ceremony hall and instantly grabbed the princess. How it could've happened so easily? Remember, this is anime. If stuff has to happen, it will no matter the odds. So us being the good and righteous people we were, immediately tried to rescue the damsel in distress.

oh yea, i forgot to mention our team. Johan's mr.demon dude complete with fangs and claws, lukes a kung fu guy who dislikes technology and hates cyborgs and the likes, and im a man with a big lightsaber. We are definitely the best bunch of people to choose for a diplomatic meeting with the other enemy kingdoms. Oh wait, we also got an NPC diplomat whos a coward and always try to avoid fights. Wuss.

So the first to act was luke, who dashed forth with the intense speed of 180 kph to try and save her, but was somehow swiftly blocked by DEE soldiers. Seeing as how he would never be able to get pass these bunch of guys when he can effortlessly lift a motorbike, he decided there was only one thing he could do:

Jump over them.
Having pumped 2 levels in the jumping attribute, it didn't sound that hard a feat. Especially since this is anime and everything jumps ridiculously high. Thus, he jumps, and immediately leaps FIFTEEN KILOMETRES into the sky, breaking several roofs in the process. I don't think the guys in his way could even register his movement, just swish, gone. See, how this happened is really a matter of multiplying that which has been multiplied. The jumping attribute multiplies your speed by 10 at level two and says that's how many rounds you have to jump at that speed. Sooo.... with his 180 kph speed, he could jump up at speeds of 1800kph. that's 500 metres per second. If you convert this to D&D, he would be 15km up by the end of 5 rounds.

So it pretty much went like this: "Quickly! we must save the princess! I'll leap over these guys and get to her!" *Whosh* *bam bam bam bam bam*. We were laughing so hard for 5 minutes i could hardly breath.

But there was another problem to this. the book says that you cannot jump more then your speed per round. That would effectively mean that it took lucas 5 rounds to go up, then 5 rounds to go down. Converting to D&D rounds, that means he disappears for one whole minute. Needless to say the DEE soldiers ran off with the princess while trying to figure out what the hell happened to lucas while hes still flying through the air. Not to mention this is only applicable to vertical jumps, meaning he jumps forwards just like any other people with 3 levels in the speed attribute. Us? Our characters were laughing too, i guess.

The rest of the session went as smoothly as it could get. Luke jumped onto one of our kingdom's pursueing ships, i boarded another, while johan ran to a nearby artillery, ran back to the king, demanded and later grabbed the keys to his 'locker', picked up all his stuff, and realised his own ship was not feuled up enough to take off. While all that was happening luke finally hops into the ship and went for the toilet after asking bout the situation, i tried to catch up, was detered by a multitude of enemy fire, pulled back and went back in with 3 other fighter planes. Never made it, as was expected. So we returned in our respective ships, and johan went back to the king after running around for nothing. DEE's king dude dropped us a little threat of 'GIVE US THAT NICE SHIP OF YOURS OR SHE DIES', our king dude agrees and send us to on a rescue mission (we ARE well-suited for that) while he drags that one ship's trip to DEE long enough for a hundred gallons of water to dry up in antartica.
End of session.

So, whos up for a lil bit of BESM? If you are, tell me, i'll tell the kenster =D.

Firo, out.

Coming Soon to the local blog near you!

2007-09-20T21:55:00.001+08:00

The clouds parted as the great oceans split open to reveal in it's depths a blinding light pulsing with unholy power. Tremors ripple through the earthlands as the mightiest of Gods peered down from above and saw ...

...TOM.

Mehehehe, I am so utterly evil, oh yes i am.

I've gone nuts.

2007-09-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

Simply because this is my second post in a single night. Still in the mood to write, apparently. And still in the mood to BURN stuff. But nah, lets not burn stuff. Instead, i'll cheat and post this pre-written snippet of something i should have but did not submit for some top-secret conpetition. It's so secretive, i dont even know who the hell organized it. So, without furthur ado, here, answering the question 'What makes me, me', part 1 of:

[Firo's Grand Berjohma]
***********************************************
Let’s take a walk then. A walk around myself, and have a look at the scenery. Imagine, a great sanctuary of ancient flowers, blossoming in full splendor with a cloudless sky and a light breeze in your face. Now, set that place on fire, throw in some screeching goblins, a band of armadillos walking in a perfect circle and a crazy flying hybrid of a bat and an Olympic body-builder. Welcome to my world! Exciting isn’t it? But then again, this may not be the case all the time. Same with the plans part, replace the word ‘always’ with ‘most-of-the-time’. I work on MOOD. Yes, MOOD. MOOD determines just how intelligent I am at any given point of time, my set of talents, personality, and just how well I can control the urge to twist you into a squishy soccer meatball. Simply put, my MOOD scale is to tell just how safe I am to everyone, including myself. Don’t ask me why I have to capitalize MOOD. I just felt like it.

But just like everyone else, no matter how twisted I am I still have a set of things I like and dislike, and one major factor is how smart you are. If you can tell me where the galaxies came from, you are my bestest friend, ever. But it’s okay if you can’t. I have yet to meet such a person myself, so for the time it takes for one such individual to appear, I’m okay with average intelligence.
However, what really ticks me off is when someone is stupid beyond reason. The kind that walk into walls, cry out in pain and scream for someone to restrain the closest person to him from trying to rob his kidneys. Or the kind that sells cartoons in CDs and accuses the potential buyers for stealing them and forcing 7.23 billion out of them. Same thing. Stupidity is something I cannot stand. If you ask me about how much that S$5 note is worth in Singapore, prepare to get sent to the nether realm by a 3-fingered uppercut of doom. Intolerable I tell you.

And so, that's that. I find this part the more entertaining of the whole bullcrap, so i wouldn't be posting up anymore from it.

And what is a 'Berjohma'? No idea, made it up. Why? Because im sexy like that.

Firo, out.

p.s. if you have anything interesting that you think i should write about, drop me a message in msn, i'd be happy to hear it. Still in the mood, you see ^^

And in strolls an unwitting lifesaver.

2007-09-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Finally in the mood to finish up my previous post. You know how hard it is to get my interest up to blog at all? Its like trying to coax sam to drink again, even with him high and semi-brainwashed. But finally, FINALLY, someone from the edge of the Odex corporate table has mustered to courage to point out just how retarded they have been. Sheesh, took him long enough.
Oh yea, a mistake on my part. the actual term for it is Public Relations (PR). W/e.

So let's start where i left off. Where were we... oh yes, the moron. Stephen Sing, was it? I swear, that guy needs a pipe jabbed into his head and pumped with the juices of basic businesshood. PR man. What kind of businessman utterly DESTROYS his company's PR!? I've yet to see a boss of any company in the red for mildly ticking off half his list of contacts, and this guy has already shot all his customers in the privates with a shotgun.
Bam, gone.

This is Singapore. You do NOT tick off Singaporeans. Especially the ones from the anime side of this little island, as they wield the power of the impulsive call-to-arms. If you so much as let slip you're going to slap the next guy who downloads 5 senconds of an anime you half-licensed, prepare to find yourself doused in kerosene and flamed online.
Stephen? Oh no, he didn't just do that. He said:

“Nope~ Me too busy sueing people~ (o.o)y”“Hahahahah! I double-6-ed so many downloaders~ serve them right! (o.o)y”

..... what the fuck.
You might as well be on the other side of the world hiding 5 miles underground as that's the ONLY way you can be assured of a complete corpse after all the hell from the community you just sent shit to. This is a whole different degree of stupidity. In fact, im going to go ahead and give this new level a name: the 'Xysing Shitted'. because thats EXACTLY what's gonna happen to people as dumb as this. Of course, there can only be one result from it all.

COMPLETE and UTTER decimation of the company's PR.
Gone.
Poof.
Shitted.

I've even read that a previous employee of the company heard in a meeting that the man doesnt give a rat's ass about the thoughts of the community. Pretty obvious why he's an ex-employee now huh.

I don't get how he can possibly make such a mistake, himself being a Singaporean. Perhaps he grew up in an adamantine soundproof bubble, protected from even the slightest of sounds from fellow children. Perhaps he was hit by a bus and run over the head by a 32-wheeler before being injected with the wrong meds. OR, or, the problem could have started way back when he was born, when he was in the process of being ABORTED and lost half his human intellect when he just wouldn't die. That would explain why he doesn't understand he should have gone through it with a fake smiley mask on and talking like as if he was the kindly old man trying to feed food to the drenched and hungry kitten in the back alley. That would explain why he just simply pulled out a 20-barreled chaingun and let loose bullets with wild abandon. That would explain my immense urge to slap this man silly.

And that's not all. He doesnt just stop there, he brings his retardation to court. Whatever happened to checking with yourself what kind of license you have? And what about producing these so-called proof of breach of license/support from other companies in court when asked for it? He strolled in, assumed that he was seemingly the righteous in this situation and looked at the judge with a wide grin expecting immediate permission to rip the customer information from the various service providers.

Worked twice, but apparently third time's not the charm.

I do admire the judge, not because he gave the arrogant director a swift whipping to his butt, but more because of how he could turn the man upside-down with a few simple questions. I've never been to any of the court hearings, but from what im seeing in the papers, the previous judges seem to have overlooked quite a number of factors. Like how they couldn't produce any of their PI work with an American company, nor explain how their sub-licenses permit them to sue anyone at all. Simply put, pwned. If you guys got time, go read the article on the court hearing. You'll see what i mean. Of course, its pretty old news by now.

And im not gonna even mention the rest of his great rightfeet men. They should've known.

So, whether by a turn of management tides or a sudden stroke of enlightenment, the company is actually starting to do things right. Declaring that they would no longer send anymore letters to offenders (Seriously, paper? At least send pig heads, far more threatening), revamping their website and apologizing for their extreme actions. They even encourage customer feedback now. Fat hope.

Nevertheless, it's going to take a way long time for the storm to fly over. A wound's a wound, and the community will need to take time to heal. And, let's admit it, no matter how hard they try, they have already lost a good portion of the market forever.

Well, least they still got them heads intact.

I've already forgotten the rest of what i wanted to say for this silly fiasco, so let's just lay this all to rest. Things have happened, and i guess some stones are best left turned only once.

Firo, till next time.

Odex [ō-děks] n. def. a PR stupidity show.

2007-08-23T21:39:00.000+08:00

Yes, i have neglected my blog once again. I've said before i'm not the blogging type, but well, since this little bastard of circumstances has already been made, why not use it, huh?

If you all haven't already figured out what i'm about to talk about, then god bless you and your half-drunk observation skills. The infamous Odex saga has been running for at least 3 weeks now, and it's ruffling the feathers of so many anime fans in Singapore that their company could not only burst into flames and burn up, they'll drown right after in the sheer number of flames going around both online and offline. Things like
"Odex sux!"
"Go screw yourselves for your own sucky subs Odex!"
"Stop resorting to cheap tactics to earn a quick buck morons!"
and the ever popular "You can kiss my wank!" are being thrown left, right, center & right at the doorsteps of a certain director of a certain said company. People are screaming about them going to court and sueing various unwary individuals for downloading anime, and quite a few have gone up in arms against them while wearing anti-Odex headbands. Of course, in every controversal situation there are tons of people discussing about the rights and wrongs of every single detail. Regardless of whether it was said with an open embrace to both sides or a gleaming +5 Vorpal Chopper of [insert evil god], forums and blogs have gone ablaze overnight. And i have decided to join the ranks... of the amused.

Yes, I am very amused. What is this, some kind of jealousy match? Have the guys at Odex gone mad? Obviously so, since they have embarked on a journey of self-destruction. Now lemme just highlight to you the situation right now. Odex, an anime distributor in Singapore is forcing internet service providers to cough up lists of people who have downloaded anime in the past few YEARS and then sueing them about $3000 for getting online, free, what they love watching at a far superior quality then the company can offer.

See the first point of doubt? Now, for all i know they might think themselves a decent bunch of subbers, but if the community says you suck, you suck. Theres no questioning them. Its like a king being attacked by a horde of unarmed commoners, and getting prodded to death. So, to any company with an advisor possessing at least decent IQ, the next course of action would be to fix the problem, a.k.a. unsuck yourself. But it seems to me that Odex has a different way of doing things.

"Unsuck ourselves? pfft. We're going in for the quick one two, then come up with a big fat court order to force you to lace our pockets with cash!"
Pure genius.

Now not only have they given themselves a reputation for trying to sell shit-quality anime, they've stabbed their sides willingly with the knifes of those few potential customers that MIGHT have actually picked up one of their decaying products. I dont know what kind of drug could give these people such grand ideas, but they have dealt a final strike to their own coffers. Why sue the people you are trying to sell stuff to? What, you think they LIKE being hit with a letter saying 'you need to cough up a few thousand as you downloaded 1 of our licensed animes TWO YEARS BACK'? No, i dont think so m'lads. No sense at all, seriously.

And really, what do they gain out of this? Lots of money? Yeah, sure, enough to pay off maybe 2 months worth of bills and paychecks. Not counting all the court, lawyer, and other fees, they dont have a very bright future without a market to live on. Now, i've already run out of enough interest to endure typing anymore of this ground-breaking phenomenon. The next time i come back, we visit the antics of the mastermind behind the masterpiece: Stephen Sing.

Firo, out, for now.

'Suck' : Shadow of the F-word.

2007-06-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, i was eating out with the trio of sam, kok, and rio, bored, full, and half dead from exhaustion. So seeing that my blog wasnt exactly the mega funfair extravagenza it was suppose to be, i asked sam for a random word i could write about. No prizes on what that word was.

So tonight, we shall delve into the wonderful network of relations of the 'S-word',
Suck.

Everybody knows what it means when i say 'that sucks'. For those impaired brain-wise, no, i dont mean that whatever im referring to has a built-in suction engine and a wide 12-inch pair of lips. I meant that the subject of mention does not sound very pleasant. 'Suck' in recent times has become a word used almost daily as a form of emotional expression, and has a much more subtle strength to it than its more sexually suggestive cousin, 'Fuck'. indeed, the F-word has taken the world by storm, garnering both fame and hate-filled spit from all walks of life. But are we talking about the all-powerful 'Fuck'? Nay, my dear friends, today is for the S-word, the black horse of curses.

For all you who oppose my views that 'Suck' can be termed as a curse, i seek to reinforce my stand. Why is 'Suck' NOT a curse? Can you properly say it to a convention hall worth of people and not get at least 20 appalled stares back at your stagelight-marked face? I think not. Can you say out loud that the game you played half a minute ago sucks so much it could sweep clean an anthole without getting a scolding from your 80-year-old woman-who-made-the-woman-who-made-you? I think not. Therein lies its power as a curse, and you cannae deny that to be fact.

But wait! Here is the true beauty of this word. Much like a dwarf, it packs a good deal of punch, but still manages to mask its power from the careless. 'Suck' has been accepted into everyday talk, even when classified as an undesirable. You hear strangers go 'this thing sucks!', 'today was a sucky day' and 'You can suck my balls, Mr.Garrison', and it all somehow manages to sound perfectly fine. Heck, i dont even know why the third example sounds fine, but the word has become as much a part of modern lifestyle as Micheal Jackson groping cute lil kids.

WHAT!? How is that even POSSIBLE!? The Institute of Vulgarities for Hell DENIES THIS BLASPHEMY!!! BURN POPPYCOCKS!!! BURN!!!

You see Mr.INeedAncientWordsToExpressMyself, 'Suck' is a much more well-thought out curse than the simplicity that is 'Fuck'. When one says 'Fuck', he is not only expressing extreme displeasure, but he is also implying sexual intercourse with the target of the curse. (but seriously, how is sex EVER unpleasant? hmm...) With the implication of a double meaning that is greatly taboo in the society, it is small wonder why 'Fuck' has such a blast when it flies out of ones mouth.
'Suck', on the other hand, has a soft outershell that cushions the blow of the word. What, you want to suck on a lolli? By all means! Cleaning the house-floor? Go ahead! Trying to pull the liquids from the cup into your dry mouth? Perfect! Who can ever feel too offended by such minor statements? No one with a right range sensitivity, that's for sure. That is the true essence of this word; it is a curse in usage, but does not feel like a Tiger Woods 70-yard swing to the gut. People use it as a figure of speech. People use it as an expression of daily life. People use it, and that's that. Simple brilliance, in all truths.

'Suck' is the ultimate curse word when it comes to use count. Kids use it. Teens use it. Working adults use it. Home-slacking wastes use it. Even TV hosts use it. Even i daresay that the S-word far exceed the F-word by a ratio of 10 to 1 on the speech charts. Now, can you still deny the genius behind the 'Suck'?

You can't, and that's that.

Here is when i end my nonsensical call of "LEROOOOY JENKINS!!", and give my fellow readers an brain-restoring rest. It was a long post, but it has ultimately stated that i will not hold back on the right of free speech on this blog. Thus, i wish to finish up with a humble advice: Use 'Suck' freely and frequently, for it was not made for charging. It was made for stealth.

First Post, and im already killing babies.

2007-06-21T07:24:00.000+08:00

Aye, as a fellow friend of mine would say. I too have jumped on the blogging bandwagon, albeit a little too late. Nevertheless, this is my first post, and it shall at least reek of first-post-goodness.

For those who know me, you just saved me the trouble of trying to hairslap you through your own monitor. For those who don't, damn you, for i do not know who you are, what you are, or why the hell you are even here. Bush beating aside, proper introductions are to be expected.

Hi. My name is [Ray Firozaki].

you can call me Ray, Firo, Firozaki, or any other twisted form of my nickname you can think up. Actually, after two seconds of thought, you cant. And yes, that was my nickname, for i rather stay behind this convenient little screen i call 'the internet, baby!'.

With that wrapped up, crumpled, and thrown aside, i now proceed to give you a brief idea of what im like, in person. First of all, im human. you know what a human is, dont you? Those war-loving, world-killing, self-worshipping species born out of an instance of insanity from god? Yeah, im one of them. Although we vary in size, shape, colour, and even the amount of hair we have, we are in fact, much more different. Why you ask? Because none of us can think & act in the same pattern. Not even twins, siamese or otherwise. As for me, I would be in the category of earthly being known as a 'Terrifyingly Male Dude', or [TMD] for short. I also feature in the 'Constantly Crack-smoking Bastard' section, though i am most prominent in the 'Whore-Tearing Fucker' department.
Actually, i was just joking. Laugh people.

Most people agree that i am somewhat of an introvert, and that i seem to never be able to turn up on time for anything. I cant disagree with that. In fact, as i type these lines i am running dangerously close to the time of meeting between several acquaintances of mine. Other minute factors about me i noticed: Mood-swinging psycho, self-in-mind asshole, and game-for-life slacker, among other things.
But wait, hold on, before you click the 'x' button to exit what seems to be the start of an emo blog, who said i don't have any good qualities? I freeload, steal from friends, AND manipulate other for fun! Is that a good thing or is that good thing people!?

Told you to run, didn't i?

But i digress. These things aren't up to me to decide, and if i were to decide anything, it would be that this post is running a little too long. So taking the advice of the little people flying about my head (ooo, i see sparkly~), i give you this little line to end off the start of a chain of illusionary insights into the mind of The Firo:

RUN, WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!